For the internationally successful Illbillys, noteworthy events occur at a blistering speed. Thanks to the equally blistering fastness of dialup internet, we're able to bring you the very latest of Illbilly goings-on!
JB the Venture Ray! Rain: Booo! Location Change for 10k Run Show
The Location is Scouted Through the selfless generosity of Google
Maps, I was able to virtually scout this intersection: Click on the thumb to the
left for a bigger view! A teeny bit more information
about the Illbillys @ the 9th Annual Ukrops Monument Avenue 10k Run The Illbillys are listed as one of the 22
bands to play at this year's Ukrop's Monument Avenue 10k Run at
Sportsbackers' related
webpage. The intersection of Hamilton and Monument will be Illbillys
territory, and they will protect those who come there. For they are collectively
Tarzan, lord of the jungle.
Illbillys to play @ the 9th Annual Ukrops Monument Avenue 10k Run
If you think I'm making all of this up, check out
Jack Rox If you do the MySpace thing, check out
Jack's Neon Strobe Unit page and hear 'em for
yourself! Peter 'n' Jeter Strike
Again Before the advent of the Illbillys, JB &
Peter entertained folks @ various events as Peter 'n' Jeter, the Titanic
Troubadours of Terrifying Tonsillectomy. Happily, Jack strolled in & the
Illbillys were formed, but it was recently & inadvertently discovered that JB &
Peter CAN still play just amongst themselves, generating a somewhat pleasing
noise. This is most fortuitous indeed, since the proverbial gig ball has started
rolling again, and Peter 'n' Jeter are riding out on the rollickin' road to play
their first twosome gig at Blessed Sacrament at Huguenot, their alma mater. Stay
tuned for information about their forthcoming site and worldwide touring
schedule! Jack Strikes Back Published in June 27th's Style Weekly: The Bass That Will Sound Like a
Bass
Illbillys Vaguely Referred To in
Richmond's Style Magazine *give or take Illbillys article in the Spring
2007 issue of WORK MAGAZINE Look for the Illbillys in the
upcoming issue of WORK magazine Framptonfest II Date Set!!
*Maybe. The Illbillys Frantically
Practice One and a half Christmas shows are already
on the Illbilly's plate for this holiday season...last year, they were booked
for three shows within 2 weeks of the first event, which made for some even MORE
frantic practicing. Lessons learned in the jungles of Chesterfield county in
2005 are being put to good use in preparation for this year's holy wars of
entertainment.
Jack was all set to host another
record-breaking Framptonfest early in October, but was unable to work out a
satisfactory arrangement with the Popcorn Vendor's Local 347 Union, and without
popcorn vendors, the event would've been a bloody shambles. The vague notion at
this point is that Springtime in Jack's yard would be lovely, so NOW you can
stay tuned for the announcement of a hopeful April/May date. Framptonfest To Ride Again!
Framptonfest '06 is currently in the
planning stages! Last October's
Framptonfest 1.0 was a smashing success, bringing several musical acts,
delicious meat and gentle intoxication together in the backyard of Jack's
fashionable south Richmond home. Since none of the neighbors complained too
stringently, Jack is planning a similar event in early-mid October of this year.
Stay tuned for further bulletins as the situation develops! The Illbillys gathered at Bales Studios in
Midlothian on July 12th, 2006 to record a somewhat presentable demo disc. The
resulting five-song masterpiece was mixed by Joe & Peter on July 20th, and the
finished product is now, even as we speak, being circulated through the offices
of the most prestigious musical venues of the greater Richmond area.
(Posted July 10, 2008)
JB has emerged victorious from the worldwide search the Venture Rays' new lead singer! "It was really a surprise," JB reports. "I wasn't even aware I was nominated for the post, and here I was elected to it! They just called one day and were like, 'Dude! You're it!' ...and I was required by law to go sing for them."
JB tells us that the Venture Rays is a cover band that plays more contemporary music than do the Illbillys (who play precisely no contemporary music whatsoever, unless you count "Spiderman," though there's absolutely no reason you should). He tells us that it's been a challenge to learn some of their material, but a pleasure nonetheless. Though the Venture Rays play out a bit more frequently than the Illbillys, he doesn't foresee much in the way of scheduling conflicts. He assures the world at large that his life as an Illbilly will continue unabated.
(Posted July 10, 2008)
The Illbillys' July 4th show, scheduled on July 5th at Woodlake's Swim & Racquet Club, was cancelled due to the condition that's been bugging us in central Virginia all this month: A little somethin' called rain. While the Illbillys proved their ducklike disregard for rain @ this year's Ukrop's Monument Avenue 10K Run (during which it rained but they played anyway), it was decided by the authorities that the show must not go on, citing a recent, similar event that was held while it was raining, during which nobody came and the band's equipment got wet, and the band all cried, making everything wetter. Very wise, methinx.
(Posted April 4, 2008)
Those of you who have already set up your lawnchairs and big umbrellas at the
intersection of Hamilton and Monument will have to relocate. The Illbillys have
redeemed some frequent flyer miles and been upgraded to a Party Stop at
Malvern and Monument, under a tent, on a riser! Yes! There had been some
concern about, y'know, wetness...in the air, on the ground, falling from the
clouds...and there's still some concern, but knowing they'll be under a
tent on a reliable surface goes a long way towards risking their priceless
equipment!
(Posted March 31, 2008)
Further information regarding the forthcoming 10k Run gig: All bands are
expected to be set up & ready to play by 8:30am, and should be prepared to play
until the race is officially over at 12:30. If it rains, we're permitted to use
our "discretion" regarding getting electrocuted.
Each band is to be provided with a generator, which will be chained to a
convenient tree or sign, generally on the median strip that runs down the middle
of Monument Ave(Yay! I've always WANTED to play on a median strip!). Said band
can play as far away from said generator as said band's cords will allow. Within
reason of course.
(Posted March 30, 2008)
The Illbillys are hoping that sometime before this event takes place, somebody
will inform them as to what time they're expected to play, and for how long.
Because occasionally this information can prove useful to a band.
(Posted March 10, 2008)
Though the Illbillys' team of bloodthirsty attorneys is still in the process of
ironing out the details, it looks as though your favorite band (which is the
Illbillys) will be one of those scheduled to play at this Richmond event,
described as "one of the largest 10ks in the country"! The local CBS affiliate
will be covering this event for those who view the "television" device.
"Party Stops" are set up at various stages of the race, designed for the race
participants' friends to hang out and enjoy music and beverages, while perhaps
making signs to cheer on their favorite runner. It is at one of these stops
that, notionally, the Illbillys will play.
Precise information as to the location and time of the Illbillys' performance in
the name of Ukrops will be posted as it becomes available! Stick close to your
internet connection for updates!
Ukrops Community Events page
Neon Strobe Jack
(Posted February 2008)
Early this month Illbilly drummer Jack posted two original songs at his MySpace
page. "Yoga Girl" is a rollicking, Johnny Cashlike nugget that deals with the
two subjects that so fill modern America's consciousness (yoga and girls, not
necessarily in that order), while "Secret Beach" is a charming surf-rock
inspired instrumental.
Both songs were recorded over the preceding couple of weeks at Bales Studios,
where Illbilly guitarist Joe handled the knob-twiddlin' end of the process. The
recording sessions were reported to be blissfully stress-free, as relaxing and
therapeutic as a lava lamp.
Do Jack's solo adventures mean he'll be leaving the Illbillys? "Yes," he says.
No, not really. He says "no." Okay ACTUALLY he didn't say anything, because I
haven't directly asked him that question, but when I consult my Magic 8-Ball it
reports, "Sources say no." No he WON'T leave the band, or no he won't STAY?
Magic 8-Balls are so confusing.
(Posted February 2008)
(Posted June 2007)
Spayed or Neutered?
Getting Frampton Right
I was extremely happy to have coverage of the
Second Annual Frampton Fest to expose the incredible talents and sounds of the
bands that played to my packed back yard ("Dogtown's Party Town," News &
Features, June 13).
But I couldn't let it go without letting it be known that
"Frampton" is a she and not a he. Easily understood, as most
people mistake the gender becdause of the name "Frampton." There's really no
indication as to which way the name leans...however, she's the greatest
dog, makes me laugh and yes, occasionally will dry heave.
Nonetheless, she's my dog and best friend and I had to let
everyone know. Happy Birthday, girl! And thanks, Style, for sharing the
story of some great musical talent in Richmond! If anyone should think there's
no music scene here, then make one yourself.
(Posted June 2007)
Ever since August 12 1984, Peter, bassist for the Illbillys in case you just got
here, has owned, used and slowly destroyed one bass: a cheap Fender knockoff
called a Mirada. Although nobody was exactly leaping for joy that this tortured
device was playing the role of half of the Illbillys' rhythm section, it seemed
to fall under the category of "good e-frickin'-nough" until...Framptonfest.
Although I personally discerned no ill winds of bassitude, I'm told that, in
comparison with the other bands, whose bassists possessed real
instruments, the bass sound of the Illbillys was, perhaps, sucky. Steps were
taken, and the Illbillys will now be bassed with a 16-foot-long, 350 pound
monster known as an Epiphone Thunderbird. When reached for comment, Peter said,
"Ow my back."
(Posted June 2007)
June 9th's Framptonfest '07 was blessed with a
writer and photographer from Style Weekly,
a Richmond-area magazine with a circulation of 6.4 billion*. An
article appeared in that publication shortly
thereafter that managed to misspell the word "Illbillys" and improperly define
Jack's dog Frampton as male. No press is bad press, as the saying goes. I hope
the Illbillies, whomever THEY may be, will enjoy the publicity.
(Posted April 2007)
Half of page 47 of the current issue of Richmond area publication
WORK MAGAZINE is dedicated to an
article about the Illbillys! 'Neath an interestingly edited picture of the band
("Chillin' with the Illin'") are about 300 words, some of which would be
included here if it were legal to do so without asking permission, which it
isn't, so you'll just have to seek it out for yourself, dedicated Illbillyfan
that you are. WORK Magazine is on sale
at Barnes & Noble, Ukrop's, Borders and other fine magazine sellers in the
Richmond area.
(Posted March 2007)
The Illbillys will be featured in a dedicated
article in what will likely be this month's WORK MAGAZINE, a Richmond-area
publication. It will be available at all area Ukrop's supermarkets, Barnes &
Noble and Borders locations, as well as various secret locations around the
city. We don't know the release date, but will let you know here as soon as we
can!
(Posted March 2007)
June 9 2007 is now the OFFICIAL, IMMOVABLE*
DATE for Framptonfest II. Those unfortunate enough to have no idea what I'm
talking about can visit our Showpix page
to see Framptonfest I's gallery, and witness the glory that took place on
October 15, 2005 when a number of local acts took the stage in Illbilly drummer
Jack's vast expanse of rural property in scenic south Richmond. Several local
bands are in discussion now with the Illbillys' tireless management team towards
securing their performance at the event. Admission will be free to the public,
and plenty of food 'n' imbibements will be available! Children welcome. Pets
optional but not encouraged. Contact Jack
for more information! 
(Posted November 2006)
Framptonfest
'06 On Hold
The Illbillys Record Demo Disc
